


About Time

by agsk98



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: 1920s, 1930s, Age Swap, Alternate Universe - World War II, Arranged Marriage, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:01:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27320884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agsk98/pseuds/agsk98
Summary: Baekhyun wasn’t able to understand when everything started to crumble down into pieces.Chanyeol didn’t know how long their misery would last.Baekhyun fell madly in love with his best friend, and Chanyeol was capable of risking everything, including his own life, to keep him safe.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 8
Kudos: 17





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone! This is the first story I'm publishing on this platform. 
> 
> This story is set before and during the Second World War. Even though it is purely a work of fiction, some elements of real events may be presented in explicit or non-explicit ways, and so discretion is advised. Warnings will be added according to the development of these events. 
> 
> I apologise beforehand as it is feasible that some grammatical mistakes may arise, since English is not my first language. The following chapters are more likely to be longer, so I hope that won't be a problem.
> 
> Hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Twitter account: @agsk98

**Prologue**

_“I will follow you and make a heaven out of hell, to die upon the hand I love so well”_

  
  


  
May, 1920

Berlin, Weimar Republic

It was a dark and lonely night in Berlin. Amelia had to run some errands, far and out of the house so as to do some emergency-grocery shopping. It was an special night for her and her husband, since it was their first anniversary of marriage, and Amelia wanted to surprise him with a delicious and romantic dinner, as if it was out of a fairytale. She was daydreaming while wandering around the streets, smiling to herself in amusement; how deeply in love she was with Edmund, who would’ve thought? They were so young back then when they met each other but their love burned with so much passion that it was silly and undeniable to keep their secret affair under lock and key, and sooner than later they were able to manage all the drawbacks and impediments they have encountered during the course of their relationship as well as their short lives. And they still were very young indeed, but now, happily married and with a bright future full of adventures ahead. 

Of course, she was not only very young but also a beautiful woman as well. Her unquestionable beauty and youth mesmerised even the most blinded. Her lovely appearance reflected with accuracy and clear as a mirror her wonderful heart, full of kindness and joy, with many dreams and fervent passions burning inside her heart and soul without stopping.

While buying some fresh vegetables, she still was thinking about her amazing husband, and love of her life. Everyday she thanked God for the incredible man he had put on her path, the most caring and beautiful inside-out man she would have ever had the pleasure to meet. She liked to think that it may have been a matter of destiny - maybe they were meant to be; or maybe it was just a sheer strike of luck. She really didn’t know what exactly did she do in her life to deserve such a warm-hearted man like hers, but she wasn’t really complaining. She has had the not-so-pleasant experience of meeting and being courted by men of all sorts - chauvinists and of aggressive nature, who were not at all compatible with her own thoughts and ideas about life. And if as God has heard her prayers, the almighty had finally sent her the man of her dreams: patient, well-mannered, caring, respectful and, overall, tender-hearted.

And last but not least, he was very handsome as well. How fortunate, isn't she? 

Laughing a little over that silly thought, however, her daydreaming came to a halt unexpectedly when she heard a crying, a little far away from where she was standing but close enough to catch her attention. With careful but rapid steps she followed the sweet sound, her heart almost ripping off her ribcage when she reached the apparent source of the sound. Deep inside her she knew it was probably a mistake to approach what seemed to be a dark alley. Maybe it was a trap, maybe it was not. But she was convinced that the faint crying belonged to a baby, and her heart wouldn’t have any kind of peace whatsoever if she retreated and ran away out of cowardice.

Her fervent passions never allowed the feeling of fear to creep in her, and so she went through the alley with a feeling of bravery and courage rising on her chest with an almost overwhelming pride. 

And among the things she actually expected to encounter there, of course she didn’t expect to see an actual little and helpless baby who was abandoned, covered only with a slim blanket, laying in a small basket almost entirely to its luck. A pang of pain invaded her after the heartbreaking sight; the night was cold and hostile, and the little baby would probably have frozen to death if she would have turned her back. 

She was thankful for being brave. How grateful she was, thought and therefore sighed. 

She didn’t doubt for a second to take the baby in her arms, who was crying a little, barely alive. She started to rock the small human in her embrace to sleep, or at least attempting to calm the baby down. However the little baby snuggled against her chest, and Amelia almost cried, uttering a yelp. The tiny human just wanted love and protection, and probably the warmth of a mother. 

She was just heartbroken. 

“Hey there little baby, I’m here now, it’s okay”.

Even with a heavy heart for the unfair situation, it wasn’t difficult for her to fall instantly in love with the little human resting in her heart. However, she couldn’t believe how heartless, cruel and evil someone might be to abandon a baby to an almost unavoidable death sentence. Who in this world could abandon such a beautiful and sweet being?

But that didn’t matter anymore. The baby was now safe in her arms, and she wouldn’t let no further harm be caused to him or her. 

The baby’s features were indeed so pretty and delicate that she couldn’t stop herself from kissing that little forehead, smiling warmly after doing so; she was already so fond of the little human that it seemed almost impossible. Her heart was for sure letting behind those dreadful feelings, and being filled with the most pure love to ever exist.

She didn’t miss his particular features and she was for a second surprised, it was not at all common to encounter something like that - the whole situation was strange, indeed. Not only were asian features uncommon there but also finding an abandoned baby on an alleyway was too. But she didn’t fret about that either way. Instead, she rapidly searched in the basket for something regarding his or her identity, and she found a little note with an almost illegible handwriting, as if the person behind the note was illiterate.

_“Born 6th May 1920_

_Baekhyun_

_Please take care of him”_

The decision in her heart was already made even before she read the note. It was only right, after all. Baekhyun, was that the baby’s name? Was he a boy? She smiled warmly; so foreign yet so familiar at the same time, her fingerprints burning only for holding the little baby in her arms. Her maternal instincts were blooming as a flower during spring, even though a hard and bitter winter was hovering over the city. How amazed she felt; how righteous it felt to take the little baby _home_. 

She tried to cover him with her own coat, not minding at all the bitter cold that struck her body, and started to run. 

She forgot about the special dinner, she forgot about her anniversary with her husband.

She just wanted to protect the little baby. And she was going to do so until her last breath, and that was her promise to him. To Baekhyun.

As soon as she arrived home, her husband looked at her rather worriedly, frowning a little while catching the sight of her beloved not wearing a coat, shivering and rather shaken, her face painted with grief and joy at the same time.

“Dear? What’s wrong?”

Oh, Edmund knew her so well. Her eyes were glistening, both from sadness and trepidation but also with hope, her heart threatening to jump out of her ribcage both for dread and courage; nonetheless her smile was starting to show little by little in her face, and gradually a little but sweet laugh escaped through her lips.

“Please, don’t be mad at me. But…”

Instead of choosing any words to utter, she uncovered the little baby resting in her arms, and even though the baby stopped crying a little while ago, she was worried that he or she may be dead. The little human was so calm and pale, and if it wasn’t for the baby’s steady breathing, she would have been bawling her eyes out on the floor to the unjust passing away of an innocent and pure human being.

Edmund was flabbergasted, to say at last. He approached his wife slowly, as if the baby was going to wake up from any sudden noise coming from the new and unfamiliar but cozy environment he was now immersed in. 

“I was trying to do some grocery shopping to make you a surprise dinner and celebrate our anniversary, but things took an unexpected turn. I found this little baby abandoned, and I am sorry, but, how could I abandon him?”

It was not hard for Edmund to notice the little fire burning in her eyes, with a little pool of tears brimming in her lower lids, threatening to fall at any moment. The caring woman was overwhelmed and at loss of words, he could tell. Her delicate fingers traced the baby’s chubby cheeks with so much love and carefulness that even his eyes gleamed with joy. Amelia was not the only one who had an enormous heart, Edmund as well was soft-hearted, and so he laughed a little while caressing his wife’s left cheek, the woman unconsciously leaning to his tender touch, the smile still lingering in her beautiful but cold face while still looking at the baby.

“Of course, dear, I understand. After all, we were trying to conceive since we got married, aren’t we? And I can’t blame you for trying to protect a defenseless baby.”

Some minutes of thinking in deep silence while just looking at the baby have passed, and it wasn’t until the little baby blew a raspberry that both Edmund and Amelia laughed. It wasn’t difficult for the former to make up his mind.

“Do you think we should take our chance and adopt this little human here?”

Words weren’t needed anymore.

It wasn’t even that hard to already love little baby Baekhyun.

With glistening eyes and hopeful hearts, Amelia tiptoed a little to reach his husband’s lips, sealing once again another kind of eternal but pure, so authentic oath, one that will further tie them together.

Now and forever. 

A little while passed with the baby still on Amelia’s arms, laying happily on her lap, now awake and giggling beautifully with whatever little things their parents did, even if it were funny faces. Sitting near the fireplace to give a little heat to the freezing baby, she didn’t notice Edmund coming nearer, offering her a cup of chamomile tea as well as a velvety blanket, kissing her forehead fondly.

“I didn't doubt for a second what a good mother you were going to be, honestly. You’re the best in the whole word, my dear. And I am for sure one lucky man”. 

The rest of the sleepless night passed by with little giggles, radiant smiles and sweet kisses from both parents, which were admiring the little boy that has already crept deep into their hearts forever, silently but solemnly swearing to protect him from any harm.

But even if they were unaware of it, Baekhyun was already a cursed child, born with tragedy already weighing on his shoulders.

A tragedy that will haunt him for the rest of his damned existence. 


	2. The First One

I

_“There is one thing I can promise you._   
_I, the one who fell in love with your wings, will never cut them off.”_

When Baekhyun was born, he was abandoned by his parents. Why? Nobody knows. Maybe no one will ever understand the reasons why. The black-haired boy always wondered what had happened; maybe his parents did not have enough money, maybe he was the product of an unwanted pregnancy - an accident. But between all of the possible maybe’s fluttering inside his little head, he preferred to think that they loved him. Even though it could have been a lie, the biggest one to exist.

On the sixth day of May in 1920 Byun Baekhyun was born in Berlin, the capital and most important city of the Weimar Republic, although his parents were both Korean. Why were they there? It was one of those questions the boy would not and will never have an answer to. He didn’t reach his first year before he was adopted by a new family: The Wagner’s.

Their names were Edmund and Amelia, and to him, they were the sweetest and nicest people he had the pleasure to meet. Even though he was adopted, Baekhyun called them mom and dad, not caring at all about the blood ties that kept them apart. They were the ones who taught him to be a better person, to be polite, and to be nice to everyone. But most importantly they gave Baekhyun a home, a family, and for the toddler, that was more than enough.

And again, maybe, between all of the maybe’s in his life that he could never answer, this was one of the biggest mistakes his parents made, even when they never intended to. Making him so good and innocent, and sometimes, clumsy. Because the world is cruel, raw, awful and mean, as well as people.

  
But that is something Baekhyun will learn about in the future.

  
His first years were the happiest ones, they were full of joy and delight. He started the _Grundschule_ when he was five. Both of his parents wanted him to be a successful man when he was older. Even though it was difficult in the country, it was their only wish. Fortunately, they were fine financially, and it was more than possible to provide the best education they could to their little boy.

Baekhyun was amazingly intelligent. Everybody loved him, but others envied him. But for him, it was actually okay. He did not even think that somebody would seriously hate him for that. They were all people even with their differences, and those differences were the traits that made everybody unique. He was happy with the simple things that life gave him and nothing else mattered in his life - he had a family and love, and his pure and loving heart did not allow him to disregard something or someone as bad nor wrong.

Nevertheless, his happiness disappeared when his father suddenly passed away when he was only six years old. The causes of death remained unknown. 

The boy wasn’t capable of understanding the concept of death completely, nor the kind of disease his father suffered from -if any-, nor the definition of pain. He realised quite quickly that his father left, that he was gone forever and he was no longer going to be by his side anymore. His father would never be able to see him grow old, nor get married and start a family on his own. He won’t be walking the same path with him, nor hold his hand lovingly, nor play games with him, nor laugh and smile fondly every time Baekhyun does something silly or cute. He was gone, completely. And he won’t see him until the very day he goes to heaven himself.

Baekhyun maybe understood something at that same moment. Because deep inside him, he knew that if his father was going to come back some day in the future, his mother wouldn’t be sad and upset anymore. His mother wouldn’t be praying to God every day to take care of him while she can’t. She wouldn’t be crying in bed, lying and hugging his clothes, smelling the bittersweet perfume he left behind from wearing them. She wouldn’t be sleeping, holding his father’s pillow through the whole night, and crying herself to sleep.

To him, there was nothing more painful than watching his mother like this. He was unaware of the whole situation, maybe disguised with innocence and cluelessness, but he understands everything. Even if it is in the deepest parts of his heart, because he knew that his daddy would no longer be next to him –to them- in this world.

  
  


On the day of the funeral it was raining heavily, the rain falling down from the sky without stop, soaking them completely. He thought that maybe his daddy was crying in heaven, missing his family dearly, blaming himself for leaving them alone. But Baekhyun could never blame his father for anything, not after everything he had done for him. Even if the lifetime they shared was short, he was absolutely grateful to Edmund for giving him six beautiful years full of laughter and love.

He was holding his mother’s hand. She was crying her heart out, a storm of grief clouding her heart, and Baekhyun couldn’t help but cry as well while looking at his father’s gravestone and his mother’s beloved.

The coffin was already closed and buried underground, and just like that they left the cemetery. The little boy couldn’t help but look back at his dad, waving his little hand goodbye.

_Please don’t feel alone, daddy. I will always think of you. I love you._

  
  


Baekhyun liked to think about his father and what he was doing up there with God. Maybe he was dancing on the clouds as the days passed, and the boy prayed that his dad wasn’t too close to the sun and running the risk of getting burned. And at night maybe he was sitting or sleeping on a star, taking care of his son and wife in the distance. On rainy days, he hated to think that his father was missing both of them and if he could, Baekhyun would be shouting out loud how much they were longing for him to come back into their lives. The boy never forgets to say goodnight to his daddy before he goes to sleep, looking to and waving his little hand to heaven. Maybe that way, his father wouldn’t be missing him too much.

It was one of those nights when Baekhyun had a nightmare. With stained tears on his cheek, he ran to his mother’s bedroom, shaking her softly. And when she opened her eyes and looked at him, he spoke.

  
  


“Mommy, I had a nightmare.”

The woman, noticing his baby boy scared and crying, immediately sat up on the mattress and turned the light on her nightstand. She lifted him up onto the bed and hugged him strongly.

“What was it about, sweetheart?” Amelia asked, now looking at the boy sitting on her slim legs while wiping away his tears from his blood-shot eyes and stroking his soft hair lovingly. The little boy sobbed inconsolably, his reddened lips forming a cute but sad pout.  
  


“I had a dream about daddy. I miss him, I miss him so much it hurts, mommy.”  
  


The woman felt her heart sink in agony by seeing her son so sad. She understood that he was suffering too, even when he was coping well with his dad’s death, and she felt selfish for sometimes forgetting about her son’s feelings. In that moment, she knew she needed to become stronger for her little baby, _their_ little baby. With effort and a grief-stricken heart, she smiled slightly, combing Baekhyun’s hair with her slim and delicate fingers.

  
  


“Daddy will always be by your side, right here.” She said, taking his little hand and moving it to his heart. “He’ll be with you on every step you take, he’ll be right next you, you’ll see.” She whispered, audible enough to her baby boy so he can hear.

With a little smile, she kissed his forehead and they both hugged each other as if the world would collapse soon, even though theirs has been collapsing ever since a little while ago. Amelia tucked her baby into bed, and placed another kiss on Baekhyun’s black and soft hair.

“I love you baby, more than anything.” she whispered, almost inaudible.  
  


Amelia cuddled with him, and then just like that, they both fell asleep, dreaming peacefully.

  
  


Baekhyun was dancing on the clouds with his dad.

And Amelia dreamt about her husband’s smile and charm, hugging her and whispering into her ear _always be happy, my love_ .   
  
  


  
That night was a huge change on Amelia’s life, and also on Baekhyun’s. Amelia was able to reflect on the situation and decided not to give up on her son, never forgetting her husband either. She also thought about all of the suffering her husband had to endure and somehow, she was thankful because now he’s not feeling any pain at all, being finally at peace, resting safe and sound. He finally had the calmness he’d been desiring for a while. 

Baekhyun was probably too young to understand how worried Amelia was for everything that was going on. With only twenty-four years, now a widow and without a proper job, she had to feed and take care of her son, and she didn’t even know where to start. As it was expected for women, she was raised to be only a housekeeper, and she didn’t even know how to write or read, since education was not supposed to be for women. 

With only the retirement wage she received from her deceased husband, Baekhyun continued to attend school.

Even though his dad left him forever –and Baekhyun missed him dearly-, he was going to keep on going as normal as possible, for him and for his beautiful mother. He wanted her to be happy, no matter the cost. And luckily for Amelia, he was a healthy and very intelligent boy who did very well at school. Baekhyun had an amazing mind for being so little, and certainly that was going to ensure him a wonderful future.

His life went through as it was and he still wouldn’t change a thing about it because destiny, or God, has everything planned. And life couldn’t have been more beautiful and merciful by giving him the chance to meet _him_ a few years later.   
  


_The love of his life_.

Two years later, when he turned eight, a new family arrived in his neighbourhood. He was curious because they moved right in front of his house. He knew immediately that they were financially stable; the neighbourhood was for people who did really well financially in general, so it was normal to see fancy things out here and there.

Baekhyun couldn’t help but look through his bedroom window, his insides overfilled with curiosity. Winter had already arrived in his hometown and the first thing he saw was the snow falling from the sky. He couldn’t help to think that they were probably freezing, feeling sympathetic; he hated being cold, shivering by the sole thought. They were carrying furniture into their house, which was big and beautiful, fancy and sophisticated. In the distance, he noticed a man, a woman, and a boy, maybe a few years older than him. Now he was excited, maybe he could make a new friend to play and laugh with. Baekhyun was, after all, a very lonely boy.

He went downstairs to tell his mother about the new neighbours and she was glad, thrilled with joy. Amelia told Baekhyun to take them some food as a welcoming gift. After she prepared it, they both made their way to the house. Baekhyun insisted a lot and Amelia, unable to resist his charms, gave him permission and therefore he was carrying the tray with food in both hands, and his mother by his side laughing fondly at how cute he looked, nonetheless taking care of her baby so he was able to walk safely. After they crossed the street, Amelia rang the bell, waiting for someone to open the door.

And somebody did a few seconds later. Baekhyun tilted his head upwards and instantly his mouth fell open, clearly astonished. He frowned when he noticed something strange about him: his eyes. Baekhyun was amazed; where he lived it wasn’t usual, or normal at last, to see slanted eyes like his own.

He had always known that he was adopted, although he never knew –and never asked- how. When he was a few years younger, he wondered why he looked so different from his parents, and from everyone. At that time, they explained to him what when two people love each other, truly and genuinely, they decide to create the most beautiful thing with love: a baby. But even when they’re madly in love, they can’t always have their own babies. And even though Baekhyun was different from them, they decided to adopt him nevertheless. And he was fine with that, because for him, nothing else mattered if he could have their love.

But it was strange for him either way. Despite being born in the Weimar Republic, his biological parents were Korean. A little light inside of him burned up, maybe he was Korean too, just like him. He could notice the boy in front of him looking at Baekhyun, kind of confused and with his brows a little furrowed, probably because of the perplexed look adorning Baekhyun’s face. Noticing the look on his face while blushing a little, Baekhyun smiled at him - how beautiful he was, he couldn’t deny nor explain. His heart started to flutter and he could feel his cheeks burning. That wasn’t good.

“Welcome to the neighbourhood.” Amelia said with her beautiful and sweet smile, snapping Baekhyun out of his own little world.

“Thank you, ma’am.” the boy answered, bowing his head in gratitude.  
  


Baekhyun then stretched his arms, handing the tray of food to the boy, his little hands trembling a little, but not from the cold. He felt amazed because this boy was so… mesmerizing, breathtaking. His features were probably designed by angels themselves, and Baekhyun indeed believed in angels like never before. He has something special in him and Baekhyun wanted with all his might to discover it, to know everything about him, _everything_ . His thoughts were interrupted when the boy’s fierce eyes made contact with his. Again, his heart fluttered loudly and strongly, like if it was going to rip through his ribcage and escape.   
  


“This is for you and your family. Welcome to the neighbourhood. We hope you enjoy staying here.”, Amelia said lovingly.

Baekhyun smiled when the boy took the tray and bowed to them slightly, and also gave little Baekhyun a small but warm smile, his strong and masculine but beautiful features softening while looking at him, almost dearly, and Baekhyun heart felt like exploding once again. 

“Thank you. This is a very nice welcoming gift. My family will be thankful for this. You can count on me and my parents whenever you need us.” the boy said. “My name is Chanyeol, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”  
  


After a small introduction and some exchanged words, the new -beautiful- neighbour named Chanyeol closed the door. Amelia and Baekhyun returned home, holding hands while crossing the street. Baekhyun had the illusion that he would be able to see him again, maybe talk to him and become close friends. But that doesn’t seem like going to happen, since Chanyeol seemed to be older than him; the little boy actually feels like those things only work in movies. The black-haired boy tried to stop walking and turned around, taking a quick glance at the house he was leaving behind, hoping that Chanyeol would still be there. Disappointed, he turned again to the front, trying to make the flush on his cheeks go away by rubbing them a bit. At least, he had the excuse that they were burning because of the cold.

He kept on thinking of his eyes, his features, all of him… only him. And his innocent mind only tortured him with the thought of the awful truth: _absolutely wrong_ .   
  
  


That was the first time that Baekhyun had ever felt something for a boy; like attraction, but he thought that maybe it was only because he was handsome and seemed like the type of boy he would like having as a friend. Chanyeol looked physically rude, but soft and nice on the inside. 

Maybe his desire of having a friend was making him think about those things, because _liking a boy wasn’t normal at all. It was normal for boys to like girls_ , like his parents, he reasoned. But he was sure that he was a normal boy, so that couldn’t be what was happening. The rest of the day, despite his doubts about his own nature, Baekhyun kept on going like he always did. After the meeting with his new neighbor, he went to school to take his daily lessons, even though he was still thinking about the said boy while sitting on a bench, studying some Maths. 

He was so distracted that he hadn’t noticed one of the boys who despised him coming to him.

Because of his race, he wasn’t accepted at all, and making friends was always difficult for Baekhyun. Although he wasn’t a bad guy, he wasn’t good enough to hang out with any of the people in his school, it seemed at least - and being a foreigner wasn’t helpful as well. Suddenly, the book he was studying from closed abruptly, a furious hand throwing it on the floor. He quickly glanced at the person responsible for that despicable act.

Ever since the first day he arrived at school, the boy had been bothering him a lot. Baekhyun’s eyes were now watching him, filled with fear because said boy was really mean to him, and he was afraid that his abuses were going to be worse everyday. The little boy was about to stand up and leave, but then the taller one grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him over the small wall. Baekhyun felt his head make contact with the cold and hard surface of the concrete.

And, as if it was an angel without wings, the boy he met that morning was right there, taking the bad boy by the shoulders. Chanyeol gave him a little lesson, scaring the kid a bit, although he wasn’t exerting any kind of physical violence. Baekhyun didn’t hear what the male said, but it was enough for that awful human being to leave him alone. He was shocked, now sitting on the floor, looking at his surroundings with disbelief. His puffy cheeks were glowing red, adorned with a few dried tears he didn’t notice before - if anyone had seen him, they would think he was weird - but maybe he was, after all. His eyes were blinking rapidly, wondering if it was a dream, his heart beating so fast it made him feel pain. He tried to act cool when his angel approached him, but he failed miserably. Laughing with fondness, Chanyeol offered his hand to help him up.

“Are you okay?” Chanyeol, the beautiful boy who lives in his neighborhood, asked him. Baekhyun nodded frantically, taking his hand.  
  


And he felt sparks. He felt like he was in heaven, and then, he stood up, standing a bit closer to him, gulping with nervousness.  
  


“Y-Yes, thank you.” he murmured while stuttering, a little shy. Baekhyun’s eyes were fixed on the floor, but then Chanyeol took his chin and lifted it up sweetly, almost delicately, as if Baekhyun was going to shatter from the mere touch.  
  


“Are you sure? I can help you if you’re injured. Your head might be hurt, too.” he said, looking at him worriedly, examining his face. Baekhyun felt like dying; as if he was swept off his feet, his eyes wide open with astoundment and glistening with hope, although his eyes never stopped looking at Chanyeol with pure adoration.

“Well, he wasn’t really capable of hurting me that much, but I’m afraid he’ll do it again.” he said frankly, looking at the boy’s eyes directly, admiring them, still amazed by the beauty but at the same time fierceness from his features. He smiled when he saw his angel smiling too, still being unable to look away from him, as if he had fallen under a spell.  
  


“So, I guess I should probably be your bodyguard here.” he said, jokingly. Baekhyun laughed sheepishly, totally dumbfounded, flabbergasted. Was he dreaming? Was he dead? Maybe he was dead.  
  


“That would be okay with me.” he answered with a smile still plastered on his face.

And without them knowing, that was the start of a beautiful friendship that will endure years and years of hardships. Thanks to Chanyeol, Baekhyun was never alone nor unprotected again. He finally had a friend to share everything with, and they found out that they had a lot of things in common. They got to know each other and soon they were so close, like brothers.

But after some years of spending time together, Chanyeol wasn’t a brother to him anymore. Well, he was - but he turned out to be something more, something Chanyeol would never be capable of understanding.

And it was _about time_ for things to start collapsing.

  
  


Baekhyun wasn’t able to understand when everything started to crumble into pieces. Maybe, just maybe, with all of the other maybe’s mentioned before, it was the same day he met Park Chanyeol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there everyone! Here it is the first chapter! It is only an introduction, probably the following chapters will grow in length and will contain a lot more of events. They are going to get even more interesting too~ either way I do hope you're enjoying it so far.
> 
> The warnings and tags may change a little bit, either way I will warn you in case there is some triggering content next chapter.
> 
> Thank you for reading! See you next chapter :)


	3. The Second One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be advised that this chapter contains strong language, violence, death and mentions of rape. It also contains a non-graphic description of a dead body.
> 
> Discretion is advised.

II

_ “There is no human being, no matter how cowardly is, who can’t become a hero because of love.”  _

Chanyeol was born on the twenty-seventh of November 1916 in Amsterdam, Netherlands, in a peaceful and undisturbed birth. Being the first son of a German military and a Korean woman, Chanyeol wasn’t really aware of how they met each other, but their relationship wasn’t really a healthy one. 

Although he was quite young, Chanyeol wasn’t stupid and deep inside, he knew that the whole situation was _wrong_ from the very beginning.

His father, named Hans, was a tough man, who acted very rude toward his mother, thinking of her as an inferior human being. Chanyeol always tried to stand up for her, but his abusive father was impossible to cope with. He felt sorry because of the awful and sick relationship she has to endure, and really wished for her to run away, not really understanding why he treated her that way, nor why did she permit him that kind of humiliating mistreatment and abuse. His mother was a wonderful woman and mother, and she for sure didn’t deserve that kind of treatment from him. 

To reassure his little child, however, she always told Chanyeol that everything that she went through, even the tortures from her husband, was all worthy if she was able to see him and be with her only child.

It was not at all an ideal family, even if other people thought they were, and that was disheartening. His father made sure that they were seen among people of their social circle as the perfect family; but they were far from perfect indeed. His father was an abuser, and he was the person Chanyeol despised the most: chauvinist, dishonest, violent with his mother and sometimes with him, although being male gave him a lot of privileges in that house.

Chanyeol will never understand why he is privileged only for being a man. 

One may think that Chanyeol was indeed lucky; however, he would never forget nor erase from his mind the screams of pain from his mother when he tortured her, inflicting on his mother abuses that he was -although imaginable- unaware of. But, how could he be lucky when his mother must suffer in front of him all that abuse? He felt useless, he could not do anything, and even if he did want to help his mother, he had his hands tied. It would be even worse if he ever tried to oppose his father, which sadly, he had learnt forcefully after some failed attempts of doing so.

That night was far from being different. Every night was the same, hearing the screams and cries from his mother throughout the whole evening until they stopped, either from exhaustion or hopelessness. Sometimes Chanyeol cried; some other times he just stared at nowhere, praying to a perhaps or not non-existent God to put an end to his mother’s misfortunes. Sometimes he wondered why, if this God existed, he abandoned them, ignoring his hopeless cries for help. Perhaps because Chanyeol was sinful and tainted, according to his father. And even though he never understood why he calls him that sometimes, he is sure that, indeed, it might be true. 

He _ is  _ tainted. 

It was quite intriguing when, while looking outside his window in an attempt to escape the disheartening reality, Chanyeol noticed the boy he met the first day he arrived to this place; a nice and naïve boy, who was staring to the sky from what it seemed to be and probably was his bedroom window. It was actually funny how he felt somewhat intrigued by the same boy, something he can’t actually grasp nor understand, if he was being honest.

Chanyeol admired from the distance the boy’s cute but pretty features, perhaps a little feminine for being a boy; he was really young, but for sure he was going to become a beautiful man someday. Insofar he had noticed that the boy was a little shy everytime they were near each other, and although Chanyeol disliked that profusely, he knew inside him that it was in his nature to be so. He had hoped that after a year, almost two of knowing each other, of being friends and hanging out almost all the time, Baekhyun would have slowly begun to open himself up to him. But sadly, the latter was still shy in Chanyeol’s presence.

Either way, he hoped deep inside him that someday it will be different. 

He hoped that someday, Baekhyun would no longer think of him as his older brother.

He hoped for a lot of things.

In the meantime, he just couldn’t stop looking at him from afar, as if longing for his touch; maybe because he wanted a hug, but it was impossible to know. Chanyeol just wanted to look at those innocent eyes, at that angel-like face, for the rest of his life. He is uncertain of what is happening to him, but if there is anything he is sure about, is that he can’t take his eyes off him. 

After the day Chanyeol literally saved the boy’s ass from getting beaten, he just couldn’t stop thinking of him. He had an inner urge to take care of him, to protect him. His small and little frame, and that beautiful heart of his, was too pure for this world - like a real angel who has lost his wings while descending to Earth.

And Chanyeol believed that his tainted nature would corrupt him - a heartbreaking thought.

Sometimes Chanyeol thought that maybe it is his own fault. Maybe it is everything he touches that ends up breaking down into pieces. His mother, for example; if he wasn’t even born, perhaps she would be more happy, or at last, free.

Baekhyun was broken, too. Ever since the day they met, Chanyeol noticed sadness in his eyes. He wasn’t sure why he could sense his suffering but it bothered him a lot, and he desired to change that. He just wanted to look at his smile everyday. He wanted to hug him, protect him from all the evil of the world, even if he was the devil himself.

And Chanyeol was no man with a mouth full of broken promises.

Looking at the sweet and caring boy, he suddenly stopped hearing his mother’s screams and cries, drifting away from the place he called home. The awful laments all of a sudden became background noises, his head being full of the beautiful boy. 

Baekhyun was like a small lantern guiding him throughout the darkest pits of hell, illuminating with the warmest of the lights the darkest corners of his mind.

His delicate features were shining under the cold light of the moon, which evoked undisclosed, forbidden desires inside Chanyeol. He wanted to touch him, feel him, fill him with endearments - he even wanted to kiss him, so dearly that the sole thought caused an irrevocable damage to his already-damned soul. He wanted to shower Baekhyun with love and affection and it killed him inside the fact that it was immoral to do so the way he wanted to. 

At that time, he didn’t know that inner desire will accompany him for the rest of his life. 

And precisely, those were the moments where Chanyeol realised that he is sinful. 

Suddenly, Baekhyun was apparently called by his mother, who asked him to close the window, and so the boy did so obediently, the curtains of his room as well. Although he disappeared almost instantly, Chanyeol smiled widely.

Even five minutes of admiring his beautiful smile, those mesmerising eyes and his graceful features were more than enough for a tainted man like him. 

The screams ceased some time during the night and Chanyeol woke up to a relatively calm atmosphere in the house. It felt strange either way, as if it was the calm before a raging storm. 

When he didn’t see neither his father nor his mother before going to school, he had the ominous feeling that something was wrong. It was common for her mother to serve Chanyeol his breakfast before he went to the Wagner’s house and picked Baekhyun up for their rather brief journey to school. 

Chanyeol thought that perhaps they were both sleeping, tired after fighting during the whole night. He panicked a little when the thought of something worse happening crossed his mind, but he quickly dismissed that thought.

It couldn't be.

But he realised some hours later his gut feeling was indeed right when his father called to the school. 

His mother has passed away.

Chanyeol was desperate. Astonished, bewildered and dumbfounded, he ran aimlessly and rapidly towards his house, ignoring Baekhyun’s screams, in the latter’s attempt in trying to stop him, wanting to calm him down. It was useless, the little boy knew; not only he imagined how Chanyeol was feeling but indeed was aware of how painful losing one of your parents is. 

Baekhyun was running after Chanyeol, really worried, conscious of how much he loved his mother. He shivered only thinking about how he must be feeling - desperate, lost.

Chanyeol reached his door and Baekhyun did so too, catching a breath for a moment before looking at Chanyeol with his gaze full of concern. Baekhyun’s brows were furrowed and Chanyeol hated to see that face in his dearest; and furthermore hated to be the source of his apparent anguish. Chanyeol cupped his cheeks warmly, caressing with his thumb Baekhyun’s flawless skin, closing his eyes while inhaling some air.

“Baekhyun, please go home. I need to talk with my father.”

But Baekhyun stayed still for a few seconds, also caressing Chanyeol’s cheek with his right hand, his brows still furrowed, his insides filled with worry and maybe an unjustified uneasiness. He was reluctant of going away, but knew deep inside his heart that he needed to let him go - just for a while.

“You know hate leaving you alone, but I will. I’m very sorry for everything, Chanyeollie. I guess I will see you in the burial. I’m always for you, alright? Just come home if you need anything, please.”

_ Home _ . Such a foreign word to Chanyeol but yet one he yearned and desired so deep inside his soul. He wanted so much to have a home. 

Chanyeol nodded softly after hearing Baekhyun’s beautiful and melodic words, placing his soft, plump lips in Baekhyun’s forehead, with his eyes slightly ajar. The giant missed the peachy blush forming in the latter’s cheeks, and Baekhyun avoided meeting his eyes to further prevent any more feelings blooming inside his chest in such a difficult and poignant moment.

Parting away from Chanyeol with hesitation and reluctance, Baekhyun walked away towards his house, sometimes turning around to watch his beautiful giant with worried eyes, afraid of leaving him alone. Albeit ignorant, he was no idiot - deep inside him, Baekhyun knew what kind of person Chanyeol’s father was. However, Chanyeol soon disappeared behind his door, and Baekhyun sighed heavily, entering his own home, with a heart so heavy that it was bothering him inside his chest. 

_ Please be okay, Chanyeollie. I love you.  _

Chanyeol entered his home rapidly, frowning a little. It saddened him how lonely the house felt now that his mother was dead. That thought instantly filled his heart with anger and pure hatred; he knew quite well  _ who _ the cause of death of his mother was.

He didn’t doubt for a second that his father had done it. And nobody touches what Chanyeol loves the most. Nobody should dare to lay a finger on what’s dear to him. 

He was going to make sure to make his father pay. He had to learn a lesson, after all.

“Welcome home, kid. Sorry for your loss. I must say we are all surprised that Sunhee is dead”.

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the mocking voice of his father. And as soon as he saw him, his eyes darkened. His piercing, cold and expressionless eyes were filled with hatred and blurred with anger. Chanyeol approached him quickly and hit his face with a tight fist.

“You fucking killed her, you motherfucking bastard”. 

Smirking a little while holding his clenched jaw, Hans looked as his son frivolously, without any kind of emotion in his dead eyes.

“Don’t disrespect me, Chanyeol. Watch your fucking mouth when talking to your father”. 

Chanyeol raised one brow, laughing rather ironically in between tears that were falling from his eyes without stop.

“Spare me the platitudes, please. Whether I respect you or not, it doesn’t change the fact that you are not at all worthy of any respect. You are fucking monster, and I’m ashamed of being your son.”

“That doesn’t change a thing, either way. You are still my son, whether you like it or not. Face it”.

His father’s wicked smile caused his stomach to turn violently. When his father approached him slowly he retreated, but the man grabbed his chin forcefully. His strength overpowered Chanyeol easily, causing the boy to look with pure hatred directly to his father’s eyes. 

“Even though you are a bastard, I decided to keep you alive nevertheless. I am even considering giving you my last name, to wash away any traces of her from you, although someone as low as dirt as you is not even worthy of it. You should be thankful, otherwise you would be buried together with that slut. Consider yourself lucky, Park Chanyeol”. 

Chanyeol wanted so hard to kill him, to make him perish. He was overwhelmed with an insatiable desire of bringing to an end his pathetic life. Although he wasn’t a violent man, Chanyeol wanted to put an end to the life of this awful human being - the sooner the better. He wanted to torture him and make him suffer as much his mom did while she was still alive. 

He really didn’t know how he was going to survive this man he could no longer call his father. But for sure he needed to avenge his mother, no matter if someday it will cost his own life. His father smiled again, more deeply, while pushing Chanyeol away from him.

“You can go and see her before we bury her. So sad she died from a sudden death, don’t you think?”

After saying what obviously was the apparent cause of death of his mother, his father walked away from him, not minding whatever Chanyeol did after their little encounter. He knew that the true reason and cause behind his mother’s murder was going to be undercover forever.

The boy started screaming, punching walls and anything he could break around his surroundings, inflicting some damage on his rough hand. 

As soon as he calmed down, he rushed towards his parents’ bedroom, and his whole body collapsed into the floor, his heart breaking down into pieces when he caught the sight of his mother’s deceased body laying still and motionless on the bed.

Chanyeol approached her slowly, somehow afraid. Everything seemed as if it was a terrifying nightmare, one Chanyeol couldn’t wake himself up. As soon as he reached out for her, Chanyeol bent down on one knee and caressed her cheek with his thumb which so much care, as if she was made of glass, and held her ice-cold hand that once was full of life between his slim and slender fingers, as if he was trying to warm her up a little.

If you didn’t know she was dead, you would have probably thought that she was sleeping peacefully. But the blueish and nasty bruises adorning her lovable face and body were proof enough of the mistreatment she had to endure everyday, and that gradually lent to her departure from life.

And although it broke his heart down on a billion pieces, Chanyeol thought that at least now she was free. Probably happier, far away from the life she despised and hated living.

Heavy teardrops were falling from his eyes, being unable to stop himself from crying his heart out upon the devastating sight before him.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to help you, to save you before death caught you in her arms. But I think that at least, now you are free from him, which is what you desired the most.”

He paused for a moment, combing her soft hair a little, gifting her dead body a bitter smile.

“I know how much you loved me, and I know you were this brave because of me, even when you didn’t need to. But now I think the time has come for you to stop thinking about my well-being and go to find your own happiness, perhaps in heaven itself. You did well, mom, and I can’t deny the fact that I will miss you so much. I don’t really know how to move on without you by my side, but I do believe that you have earned yourself a well-deserved rest. You have had enough. From this miserable and unhappy life. From him.” 

Chanyeol caught a breath, trying to dissever the negative thoughts of his father from his mind. He wanted to wish her the final farewell accordingly, as she deserved - with love, care and affection.

“Now you will be resting in peace and I will find solace in that thought so as to be able to move on. I love you, mom. I promise I will avenge you and forever remember you. I hope you are better now, away from this hell on Earth. Goodbye.”

Moving some baby hairs away, Chanyeol leaned in and kissed her freezing forehead slowly but tenderly, shedding burning tears while embracing her small frame softly and subtly, trying to avoid causing her any pain or harm, even though it was impossible to do so.

Although he knew that somehow her death was for the better, he felt unable to find any kind of comfort in his heart.

He was going to miss her so much. 

During the burial, Chanyeol’s eyes were swollen. However, he couldn’t find any more tears to shed, nor did he have any strength to wipe them out. He was thankful for having Baekhyun by his side during the whole ceremony, looking at the already sealed coffin, ready to be buried.

Chanyeol couldn’t take anymore of the fake tears of his father, and so he started to walk along the cemetery, away from him, and away from the ghost of his mother, whom Chanyeol hoped won’t follow him for the rest of his existence, torturing him with the idea that he wasn’t able to keep her safe.

Of course Baekhyun never left him behind. A little far away to give him space, but he was following Chanyeol, a hand which Baekhyun never desired to let go of. He really didn’t want to intrude nor bother him, but at the same time, Baekhyun wanted to make him feel that he was not alone, that he could count on Baekhyun and be vulnerable if he needed to - there was no shame in being so. Baekhyun for sure admired the latter’s strength, both physically and emotionally, but he knew that it is feelings the only trait that make all of us human beings and we shouldn’t deny them whenever they reach the surface. He was a little worried about his Chanyeollie.

Baekhyun didn’t want him to give the appearance of being strong when in reality he already was. Baekhyun wanted him to be just as he is. Just like that.

Soon after Chanyeol took a seat on a bench, unable not to catch sight of Baekhyun, who was giving, almost gifting him the purest smile ever while walking straight towards him. Strangely enough, Baekhyun didn’t pity him, and Chanyeol was thankful for that. It was rather a fond smile, simply well-intended, so as to make him smile too.

Baekhyun was so pure, so full of light; and the thought crossed Chanyeol’s mind as a lightning, brief but strong, that even though he failed to save his mother, he was willing to give his own life for Baekhyun to be happy. He felt the need to pay for his own faults, as if it were the price to pay for being unable to protect his mother. He had already lost her, and Chanyeol wasn’t going to lose the other person he cherished and loved the most. 

He preferred to die than live a life without him. Without his smile, without his light. 

Brought back to Earth when Baekhyun sat beside him, Chanyeol blinked a little while the latter had his eyes fixated on him, still smiling warmly. And Baekhyun, instead of uttering any kind of comforting word, held Chanyeol’s hand in his own, which was considerably smaller but that either way didn’t fail to recomfort him. It was exactly what the elder needed: his support, his company, and his love. 

Chanyeol smiled rather warmly after what it felt a long while, and it melted Baekhyun’s heart. The elder couldn’t refrain himself from ruffling the little boy’s hair, and then holding between his big hands his little and delicate face, caressing with pure love his puffy and reddish cheeks, Chanyeol thought it was because of the sheer cold. 

“Let’s go home, shall we?”

Home.

It wasn’t difficult for Chanyeol to realise.

_ Home was wherever Baekhyun was _ .

Chanyeol returned to his dreary house a little bit earlier than his father, and he was somehow relieved for it - he needed some time alone. He found it impossible to not end up in his late mother’s bedroom, still reluctant to let her go.

He was taking a look at her things, that were very little, but probably significant to her. He didn’t know many of the things he was holding in his hand nor what meaning did they have, but he felt happy, as if he was sharing something intimate with his mother.

So when Chanyeol found a hidden letter with his name on it, he didn’t hesitate to take it between his fingers. He felt a little tug in his heart, and his soul overwhelmed once again with insurmountable feelings, his eyes filled with tears once again, and consequently his sight a little blurred.

Chanyeol didn’t believe in coincidences. He knew deep inside him that it must have meant something that he had found the letter.

And so he read it.

Only for his heart to be shattered once again with the naked but dreadful truth.

  
  
  


_ Dear Chanyeollie, _

_ My son, the light of my life. If you are reading this, it probably means that I am dead, and I am no longer by your side. I’m sorry for everything, my baby. I _ _ ’m sorry for giving you an awful father and life, for not being the best mother out there. I’m sorry for leaving you alone and for not protecting you. But I feel that I need to apologise profusely because you were the one to protect me all along when I should have been the one protecting you.  _ _ I’m very sorry for so many things in my life, but I will never be sorry for nurturing a little baby under my heart for nine months, who is now an incredible man, and whom I have the pleasure to call my son.  _

_ You were the only thing I did right. I _ _ have made many mistakes. A few years ago, a dreadful war started in Korea, and the Japanese Empire invaded our land. The levels of poverty had arisen, which made me look for a job in order to help my family before going bankrupt.  _ _ But it went wrong. Under a fake promise of providing me with a job, I ended up being sold as a slave to a German man.  _ _ That German man is your father.  _ _ When he impregnated me, first I had a miscarriage. At his second attempt, I got pregnant with you. I was afraid and hurt, for you were the result of rape, but it was never your fault to begin with, a _ _ nd I loved you ever since your first heartbeat. You were a light of hope, and a gift from God, my little _ _ guardian angel who came straight from heaven to save me. _

_ The day you were born, I was thrilled with joy at the sight of you, bearing the only thing I could have ever been able to give you: my nationality. You know how your father is, but he let me name you - that ignited a little fire inside my heart. An inextinguishable fire.  _ _ If it wasn’t for you, my little fire, I wouldn’t have survived all these years. I wouldn’t have got the strength to keep fighting. I tried my best to give you the life you deserved, but I failed miserably. I couldn’t escape from your father, even though I tried. But I know I have died courageously, fighting against the man I despised and at the same time feared the most - my spirit was never broken to begin with. He never tamed me, b _ _ ut I couldn’t risk your safety. He knew the only thing I loved was you, and threatened me with your life and your destiny - and I would have never been able to live knowing I was the reason for my baby’s suffering. I know he would have done whatever it takes to harm you if I left or attempted to escape, because he knew that hurting you is the only thing that can hurt me. _

_ My biggest desire was to go far away with you, but unfortunately, my only desire was not meant to be fulfilled, after all. I’m sorry for failing once again.  _ _ But now I have a new desire, a new dream - for you to be happy. For you to escape.  _ _ I know it is not going to be easy. But I know that you will be happy someday - and you can count with me, for I will be by your side forever. Now it is my time to be your guardian angel. And that is a promise I would not break. _

_ You, my little fire, are meant to be loved, to be free. Never forget it. _

_ Loves you truly, _

_ Mom _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> I honestly believe that this chapter sucks, and I am feeling reluctant to publish it. However, I did my best to make it at least a little bit worthy of being read.
> 
> That being said, I do hope you enjoy it a lot, since I have been working really hard on it. And in case you're a little bit lost with the dates, this chapter is set on the year 1930, two years after Chanyeol and Baekhyun met each other.
> 
> See you next time! Thanks for reading, stay safe~


	4. The Third One

III

_Passionately, I listened to the curses put on my fate._

_He was the only safe haven in my life besieged by the devil._

  
  
  


**December, 1932**

Chanyeol was putting on one of his bestest suits while thinking about the upcoming dinner.

His father had been insisting for a few weeks now to invite both Amelia and Baekhyun to eat at their house - for he would like to treat them both, although Chanyeol didn’t know exactly why. Chanyeol hated his father, but was delighted at how much he seemed to cherish Baekhyun. 

After all, he was a lovable boy, and it was no surprise to Chanyeol that everyone in this world adored and worshipped him, and indeed he deserved it. 

But there was more to his delight than meets the eye. Of course, Baekhyun was his best friend, but Chanyeol was never able to explain why whenever he saw Baekhyun he felt sparks in his heart, beating off his chest non-stop. Ever since the first time he saw the little and innocent boy, he knew that his presence in his life was going to be something else - something that will determine his future.

Chanyeol had no doubts that he was utterly and passionately in love with Baekhyun. And of course, he was hell-bent on making him his. 

Once again, Chanyeol remembered the fact that he was tainted. He was fully aware of the fact that homosexuality was not only a sin in the eyes of God but also a crime. And deep in his heart he refused to agree with his father on the fact that he was immoral, wicked - a pervert who dared to profane a beautiful angel as Baekhyun, whom in fact Chanyeol desired to protect from all the evils in the world.

But how could he protect Baekhyun from himself, as stained as he is, when Baekhyun was the thing he desired the most?

Even though he was tainted, he was so in love with him that he was capable of going to the darkest pits of hell if that meant that Baekhyun was untouched, pristine, safe, whether it was in his arms or not. He was afraid of stripping Baekhyun of his pureness, but he couldn’t deny the fact that he could never leave Baekhyun. 

He was selfish.

And he was stubborn enough to give up everything in order to protect Baekhyun, even if it was from his own self. 

However, Chanyeol was sure that the little boy looked upon him as his elder brother, and it broke him entirely. Moreover, it was feasible that Baekhyun was by no means homosexual as him; and even if he was, he probably wouldn’t look at him that way. It was a heartbreaking thought for sure, but Chanyeol didn’t lose hope. 

Maybe someday he would be worthy enough to gain Baekhyun’s heart.

As if it was the bell of love ringing inside his heart at the thought of his beloved, the bell of his front door rang rather loudly in his ears, announcing the arrival of the family.

Sparing a quick glance to the mirror to check he was looking good, Chanyeol rushed to the entrance of his not-so-humble home, taking a small breath before opening the door, only for his breath to be taken away by the boy he loved so much, who was standing before him with his unmistakable angel-like features, dressed as such, looking at him with sparkling but curious eyes.

Chanyeol knew Baekhyun was beautiful - that was an undeniable truth. Ever since the first day Chanyeol saw him, he was able to tell what a beautiful man he was going to become someday, and he wasn’t mistaken, not only a little bit. But that night he just seemed a little bit different. It wasn’t precisely something bad - on the contrary, the boy was, once more, able to take his breath away with so little effort; just by existing, by breathing. Chanyeol had no doubt that Baekhyun has probably descended from heaven itself, being gifted with an absolute, sheer beauty - he was breathtaking, mesmerising, and Chanyeol couldn’t even find any words to utter, his words caught on his throat, being unable to find its way through his mouth.

Baekhyun blushed a little, instantly fixing his eyes into the marble floor. He had a faint but gentle smile plastered on his face, perhaps a little afraid of facing Chanyeol. Chanyeol of course didn’t know - but Baekhyun was also mesmerised, enthralled by his beauty too. And of course he didn’t fail to notice the loving look Chanyeol was directing straight to him, somehow raising his hopes up. Maybe Chanyeol felt, even if it was a little bit - and of course that was enough to the little boy - the same as he did. 

They were both madly in love with each other but probably too afraid of saying the truth - too afraid of being rejected, of being judged, but most of it all, of falling out of love. 

“Hello, my dear” Amelia, with a compassionate look on her face, greeted the elder of the two - Chanyeol instantly bowed a little.

“Good afternoon, ma’am. Please, come in, make yourselves comfortable”.

Trying to act as calm and normal as possible, Chanyeol invited them inside the house, leading both of them to the living room, where they were going to eat the fancy dinner his father ordered the maids to prepare. More sooner than later, as if Chanyeol summoned him by the mere thought of him, his father appeared. It was almost instinctively, but Chanyeol tried to shelter Baekhyun, to take him away from him, preventing the elder from inflicting any harm to the little boy. However, he needed to be careful, and even though his father did nothing, Chanyeol was attentive of any movement his father was making.

“Good afternoon, Amelia and Baekhyun. It is a pleasure”.

Hans approached Amelia with a steady pace, holding her delicate hand between his, caressing it a little before planting a small kiss on the back of her hand. Taken aback and a little shy, Amelia smiled out of courtesy, unable to form any kind of verbal response. She wasn’t sure of what did exactly that action mean, but it didn’t feel right.

Chanyeol smelled something a little fishy too, but decided to put his gut feeling away for a little while, now focusing his attention on Baekhyun, whom his father was now approaching. Of course Baekhyun gifted his father a warm smile, stretching his hand with his father’s calloused and tarnished hand without any doubt. Chanyeol’s insides were burning in sheer agony, unable to protect Baekhyun from his dirtied, blood-stained hands, which had borne the burden of his mother’s death ever since her tragic death a little while ago. 

How ironic it was - his filthy hands were once again holding, as if hanging from a little thread, the only life Chanyeol cherished and desired to protect ever since that dreadful day. 

How powerless, how useless he felt - he wasn’t and probably never will be able to protect Baekhyun. How could he even be capable of doing so if he failed to prevent the passing away of his own flesh and blood, whom he had let slip from his own hands and ceased to exist forthwith, whose body and soul had been abandoned to perish in loneliness underground, and someday therefore passed into oblivion and never to be remembered ever again. 

The whole existence of his mother had faded away and disappeared completely from Chanyeol’s life in the blink of an eye. And he suddenly felt the darkness engulfing him at the thought of losing Baekhyun’s by the same hands he had cursed ever since that day. 

Of his body evaporating, vanishing into thin air as if it belonged to nature itself and never into Chanyeol’s own hands.

Of his whole light and life dying away, draining completely out of his body, and painted it black by his father’s damned hands, Baekhyun’s angel-like soul being dragged from heaven into hell itself, swallowing his whole pureness up, evanescing into non-existence and away from Chanyeol.

And suddenly the elder wanted to cry out of despair. 

“Please, take a seat wherever you desire to do so. Feel at home, my dearest guests.”

Hans’s voice completely pulled Chanyeol out from his own train of sombre and gloomy thoughts, and for the first time in his life he was thankful to that man, saving him from drowning in that deep and frightening sea. The thought of losing Baekhyun forever was simply taking the life away from him, and being unable to cope with that feeling at all, he decided to disregard it, pushing the thought away and caging it into the bottomless abyss of his mind. 

They all took a seat in the big and rectangular table which adorned the immense and magnificent living room. Chanyeol, being the gentleman that he was, drew back one of the chairs for Baekhyun to sit on. The latter smiled widely but shyly, with his cheeks blushed a little pinkish, and while feeling a pang in his heart, Chnyeol returned without hesitation that radiant smile of his with one made of a tiny line with his lips, causing his dimple to appear.

Sitting right in front of Baekhyun, Chanyeol looked at him with pure adoration, being magnetically drawn to him, as if he was under a spell. It was almost as if the world around him ceased to exist, being replaced by its one and only sun, the most beautiful and purest human being whose name was Baekhyun.

No sooner had dinner been served that Hans stood up, raising his cup full of champagne to propose a toast, than everyone in the table raised their glass, ready to celebrate whatever Hans desired to. Chanyeol frowned a little, and although it was almost impossible to perceive, it did not go unnoticed by Baekhyun.

_Why did he even want to make a toast exactly?_

It was at that moment that Chanyeol’s gut feeling started to arise once again, gulping a little as a feeling of trepidation started to take control of his body. This was certainly not right and he didn’t like the way things were taking its turn. Something was fishy from the very beginning. He couldn’t help but glare towards his father, and he was certainly sure that Baekhyun saw him. 

“My beloved Amelia, I am fully aware of your current situation. Although I’m profusely sorry for the death of your husband, may he rest in peace, I know how much you have been struggling to maintain your home and to give your lovely son Baekhyun a happy and healthy life. It is no secret that the Republic has been through some crises here and there, and I know how difficult it is for women, for they are not usually permitted any kind of dignifying job at last, and I for sure have no doubts of your value as a respectable and decent woman who is struggling to take care of her own flesh and blood.”

And then Chanyeol realised why he had that dreary gut feeling in the first place.

“Would you give me your hand in marriage and give me the honour of becoming my faithful wife?”

Both Chanyeol and Baekhyun had their bodies drained of any kind of colour, turning pale almost instantly. Chanyeol suddenly felt sick on the stomach, and Baekhyun had a distressed look in his somber countenance. 

Amelia, on the other hand, was just amazed, her lips slightly ajar, but somehow deeply in thought, as if considering the proposal thoroughly. 

After Edmund’s death, the house was entirely owned by Amelia, which was left written on his will for her and his son to have. Of course the retirement fee was also given to her as his lawful widow, as Edmund himself stated, almost on his deathbed, in his late will since his imminent death was approaching. However, it was true that she was nevertheless having a hard time trying to give Baekhyun a peaceful but good life, one that he actually deserved - but food was becoming more expensive, the maintenance of that enormous house for two people only was exhausting and therefore impossible, and providing a good education to Baekhyun was also difficult, as his school - for being prestigious and one of the best out there - was really expensive. Even though it was a saddening thought, Edmund’s retirement fee was not enough. 

Moreover, women were never expected to work in anything but to take care of the home and children, and so whenever a wife lost her husband it was indeed difficult to get a proper job - it was not their place nor role in society, of course. Sometimes she thought of looking for a job in pleasing men. Not that she approved of that job - but if you’re that desperate, you will do anything. She didn’t believe herself to be different from those women - they were all just victims from patriarchy and abandonment from the state. 

And she was capable of doing anything for love, for Baekhyun to have a better life, away from poverty and illness - _even if that meant selling her body and soul to that cold, heartless man._

Amelia always has had inside of her the need, the desire of becoming a parent. Ever since the day Baekhyun had fallen in her arms in the form of a helpless angel sent straight from heaven as a gift from God itself for her to become a mother, she had realised what being one is like

And if contracting that marriage meant that her little baby was going to be safe and sound, then she was brave enough to do it so.

Of course she was still a beautiful woman, having just turned thirty-one, and it was no surprise for anyone that she was courted by many men. However she was still in love with Edmund, although many would have thought that to be pathetic, and couldn’t picture herself loving another man in her life, nor did she want to do so. Nonetheless, it was surprising to see that Hans wanted to claim her as his. And she wasn’t really sure if she liked that, considering the fate his late wife had to face. She was a really smart woman - you didn’t have to be that smart to notice that something was awfully wrong in that household, which walls were once painted with a crimson red.

But she didn’t think she had any other choice, even though that same choice would probably be her death sentence, as she was being condemned to an unhappy life for years to come, enduring what seemed to be a long and terrifying ordeal.

She only wished for Edmund to protect her and their little baby, preventing any harm from being inflicted on his sweet, gentle and benevolent boy.

Hans walked towards her, leaning on one knee in front of her, taking her hand between his fingers and caressing that lovely hand of hers with sheer adoration.

“I know it’s difficult, my beloved. We have both lost our life-long companions whom we had deeply been in love with. Although I miss her with my whole heart, and I for sure know how much you miss your husband too, I don’t want to be alone anymore. And I don’t think you want that too either. Moreover, I know you are an amazing mother, and I’m sure you will be the best to my dear Chanyeol”.

Chanyeol wanted to throw up, but most of it all, he wanted to stand up and punch him in the face, pure hatred rising inside his chest and burning his insides - how dare he tell such a lie? He didn’t love his mother, for God’s sake - and he was without a shadow of doubt that he wasn’t in love with Amelia. He just wanted another puppet to play with, to control and to use however he desired to. He knew him and was aware of which his real intentions were. 

How could Chanyeol permit that to be done to Amelia in the first place? He knew how lovely the woman was, and didn’t deserve any harm. Thick skinned and warm hearted, somehow Chanyeol looked upon her as a mother - but he didn’t want her to be a slave for his father, for sure. He couldn’t allow something like that to happen never again. He already lost his own mother and he couldn’t let Baekhyun lose his. 

However, it was Baekhyun’s pleading eyes and slight and almost imperceptible shake of his head that stopped him from standing up and making a scene. He looked so drained of life, of light, that Chanyeol felt heartbroken. 

Useless, powerless once more.

He was so sorry for being unable to protect Baekhyun. He was sorry as well for being unable to prevent that marriage from taking place, incapable of bringing it to an end immediately. He was sorry for even meeting Baekhyun in the first place.

Perhaps if they wouldn’t have met, this wouldn’t have happened in the first place.

He was deeply sorry for everything.

“I would like to talk about this more privately, could it be?”

Amelia’s voice was a little shaken and she was for sure shaking a little bit. Hans, however, was smiling - sweet but sickly. 

“Of course, dear. Please, follow me.”

Amelia for sure was aware - whether she said yes or not it was indeed a matter of life or death. 

  
  


Silence was heavy after the two adults left the room. Baekhyun was crying silently, and Chanyeol, feeling a little forlorn, hurried to his side, sinking his knee on the floor, taking Baekhyun’s hand in between his own. He smiled a little at the cute but obvious size difference, holding his hand as if he was holding his world - and indeed he was doing so, if he were to be honest. With his other hand he decided to hold Baekhyun’s soft cheek, caressing it with his thumb with so much care as if his entire being was made of glass.

“Hey, it’s okay, don’t cry…”

Chanyeol’s words came out as if he was out of breath. It was difficult trying to comfort Baekhyun when he himself was breaking apart. But if he needed to be strong for Baekhyun, he was going to give his best. 

Baekhyun leaned at his touch, closing his eyes a little, his eyes brimming with tears. Chanyeol couldn’t help but cup his cheeks in his hands, placing a sweet kiss on his forehead. It was almost automatic, but it caused Baekhyun some shivers in his body. Of course his cheeks were as red as a tomato, and somehow Chanyeol seemed also to be blushing a little. Baekhyun looked at him with pure adoration in his eyes, full of love and worship as well, and couldn’t help but smile a little, and suddenly let out a dry laugh, bittersweet at last. 

“I don’t know if things are going to be okay. I know how your father is…”

Baekhyun whispered as if he was afraid of speaking up, as if he was going to be punished for saying such things about his father. Fear reflected profusely in both eyes, in the mirrors of his own soul. Chanyeol was aware that Baekhyun knew a lot, for he himself explained some things -although not completely- of everything that had happened with his own mother. It was only natural then that he was afraid of him, he knew what Hans was capable of. 

“But at least, I know I have you. You will always be my side and that is enough”.

Chanyeol suddenly felt astonished, out of breath. That sweet confession of his was sufficient to send his heart into a frenetic beat, threatening to get out of his chest. It was probably just a silly comment that didn’t mean anything to Baekhyun but to Chanyeol it meant the world. Baekhyun’s eyes, although they were filled with unshed tears, were still the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. His words were so tender, so pure that Chanyeol felt love-struck for a moment. 

Baekhyun this time laughed whole-heartedly at the latter’s loss of words, being now him the one who comforted the giant, caressing his cheek. Chanyeol only wiped away the tears which threatened to fall from his eyes, not really wanting any kind of grief to make Baekhyun suffer. 

They spent some minutes in silence, their lovingly stares and touches the ones taking center stage. They didn’t really mind about the silence - it was at least a comfortable one. Both of them would be capable of spending the rest of their lives that way, even though they weren’t brave enough to admit it. 

Baekhyun ended placing his head in Chanyeol’s chest, looking for his arms to comfort him, to engulf him fully. He just wanted to get lost in him and to forget about all the new upcoming events surrounding him. Baekhyun just wanted to escape - no matter how briefly, but always with Chanyeol by his side.

Even though the latter was pretty unaware of Baekhyun’s feelings, Baekhyun indeed saw Chanyeol as his own angel, as the fire of his life, keeping him alive and breathing.

He really didn’t know what he would do if Chanyeol decided to disappear from his life. And he suddenly dismissed that thought rather rapidly, being unable to picture himself away from the love of his life, the only man that owned his heart and probably ever will.

It was despairing, actually - how their love was prohibited and illegal, an unforgivable sin in the eyes of God. Loving Chanyeol was committing a sin, and Baekhyun was completely aware of his wicked nature.

But it was a sin that he was more than willing to commit, no matter if it was in front of the Almighty himself. It was just pure love, after all, and it was impossible that he was going to be punished for it, for love is just love. Suddenly feeling more brave than ever, desperate for having Chanyeol and afraid of losing him at the same time, Baekhyun lifted his head a little bit, and tenderly kissed Chanyeol’s lips.

It was brief but it was so full of feelings that both were out of breath, more afraid than ever before. Baekhyun's heart was threatening to get out of his chest, and he didn’t know if he was imagining things, but he was able to feel Chanyeol’s heart pounding inside his chest as well.

“I’m sorry, oh God, I got carried away… it won’t happen again. I’m sorry, Chanyeollie.”

He was about to break down in tears, stuttering almost inaudibly those words, his small frame shaking a little, ashamed of what he had done. But his heart skipped a beat when Chanyeol held and lifted his chin in a delicate manner, only to kiss him back, a little bit deeper but packed with feelings nonetheless, engulfing Baekhyun fully, enthralled by his sweetness.

When they broke apart and looked at each other in their eyes, they both gave a bitter smile, and realised that their love was real, and requited at the same time. But why wasn't it less painful?

And unbeknown to each of them, their hearts were grieving exactly for the same reason. 

_Forbidden_. 

  
  


After what seemed to be long hours of waiting and finding solace in each other - and to never mention again the kissing-each-other scene-, Amelia and Hans reappeared in the living room only to break up the news. Hans’s smile was glistening with joy, but Amelia seemed rather submissive, crestfallen and tired already, as if exhausted emotionally, still deep in thought, debating inside herself whether or not she had made the right decision. 

They were going to get married.

Now it was official, and both Baekhyun and Chanyeol were going to be step-brothers. 

If their love was somehow impossible until now, things got worse. 

Their whole world crumbled down into pieces. 

Baekhyun and Chanyeol looked at each other with eyes full of helplessness, their hearts shrinking. 

  
  


Chanyeol didn’t know how long their misery would last. 

But it was feasible that it would last forever. 

  
  


The rest of the evening passed rather quickly. Chanyeol and Baekhyun were both absent-minded, smiling only out of courtesy and somehow giving the appearance of being only breathing, alive at last. 

Amelia was better at pretending. Her smile was wide and blissfully, chattering with Hans and the two kids in a lovely manner, as it was usual of her.

But Baekhyun knew better, after all; she was his mother, and he was able to notice that she was actually dying inside, the light inside of her slowly being consumed by an intense storm of grief. 

Baekhyun could not help but feel pity. He was sorry for her, as she could -or should- actually live as a widow peacefully without this awful man trying to court her and tie her up into a loveless marriage, one in which he saw no point at all for bringing it into existence, only because she was financially unstable. But things like that, in this world reigned by men, were impossible.

Chanyeol, on the other hand, could not yet grasp what Hans meant nor what his intentions were by marrying Amelia, but he was certain that it could not bring anything good. It was like planting a flower in winter - it can only bring death and despair. 

However, Chanyeol was ascertained by only one thing, one of those promises he cannot permit himself to break. 

The time for revenge was about to come. But he will make sure that, when the time comes, Baekhyun will be safe and sound in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a mess, honestly. And I didn't proofread it (sorry for that!)
> 
> Nonetheless, I truly hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm working on the following one but meanwhile, I would love to know your thoughts on this, that would mean the world to me and would really inspire me a lot to know if you are liking this so far (it also helps me to know in which aspects of the story you would want me to work more on).
> 
> If you want to, you may contact me on my Twitter account, @agsk98.
> 
> As soon as I finish the following chapter, I will be publishing it, hopefully in a week.
> 
> See you then, and, as always, thank you for reading~


	5. The Fourth One

IV

_And I’d choose you, in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality,_

_I’d find you and I’d choose you._

  
  
  


Only a month after the proposal, Amelia was getting ready for her second and upcoming wedding that was set to take place in only a few hours.

While looking at herself in the mirror, she couldn’t really believe how beautiful she looked. Her make-up was simple but it highlighted her pretty and feminine features, making her feel like a goddess. And not to mention the dress - of course that Hans insisted that she should wear something fancy, perhaps made of silk, but it wasn’t really her style, so she refused.

She remembered her first wedding dress, the one she wore when she had just turned 18 years old - how young and naive she was back then, completely in love with a man whom she thought was going to be her husband until her hair turned gray, until she was laid to rest beside him. That delightful day, she remembered that her arms and shoulders were covered under a thin layer of lace, and the rest of the dress was made of lace itself, her chest being completely covered under its layers, and its simple silhouette ending with a small tail laying at her feet.

This dress was not so different whatsoever - made of lace as well, it had got a much longer tail and veil, but the essence of it was pretty much the same; same silhouette, same neckline, same sleeves - only that these were a little bit laxer, and this dress did seemed to be a little more fancy, as it not only was decorated with some jewellery but also the fabric of the dress and its seams were more expensive.

It was impossible not to shed some tears about the resemblance of the dress, remembering the day she got married to the one and only love of her life, promising each other a happily ever after but at the same time comfort in the difficult times they may face in the future. And so it was, for Edmund fell ill and even back then, as promised in their vows, in sickness and health, their love was pretty much the same. And until today, Amelia loves him with every piece of her broken heart. 

Even though they are far away from each other, she was sure that Edmund was by her side every step of the way. Not even death could do them part. She wondered for a moment what he would think of her marrying another man, one that she wasn’t even in love with.

She remembered when Edmund was laying on his deathbed, only one step apart from death itself, as if it was waiting for him at the doorstep. And even back then he tried to comfort his wife, being unbearable for him to see her crying in agony over his unavoidable death. He was suddenly using his last breath in order to wish Amelia the happiness she deserved, for she was an amazing woman, and an amazing wife as well. 

She felt heartbroken to know that she wasn’t going to get that happiness. But she was sure that Edmund understood what her duty was nonetheless.

It was Baekhyun’s presence in the room that stopped her from shedding any more tears, rapidly cleaning away the stains that have probably ruined her make-up. Of course Baekhyun noticed - her beautiful eyes were red and puffy, and he couldn’t help but feel worried about her. After all, he was aware of the fact that his mother didn’t desire to marry Hans, nor loved him enough to contract marriage with him - she would have been thrilled with joy otherwise.

“Mom? What’s wrong?”

Baekhyun’s melodic voice was somehow a reminder of the reason why she was marrying that man, and although it wasn’t not even a bit his fault, since it was solely her own decision, it was a reminder of her duty as a mother, and because of that, she needed to be strong and to face the odds that were placed in her path, even if that meant sacrificing herself. 

Baekhyun’s well-being was her responsibility after all.

Smiling bitterly, she faced her baby boy, holding his hand and stroking it in a lovely way.

“Everything is okay, my baby. I was just remembering my wedding with your father, and I have gotten a little emotional.”

The mention of his late father was enough to make Baekhyun feel emotional as well. A father that he truly and deeply loved but didn’t enjoy that much, as he passed away when he was very little. Baekhyun hated to admit that he doesn’t even remember his father’s voice, and it was a painful thought, for he would love to remember him exactly as he was. 

He just hoped that the day his mother should pass away, he would be able to remember her beautiful and melodious voice, as well as her pretty face, or else he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. Although uncertain, it is said that as long as you remember someone, that person wouldn’t die - it may not be physically present, but it is alive inside of you. Only the ones that are forgotten may be considered as completely gone. 

And because of that, he couldn’t allow himself to forget any trace of her. He might have been little when his father died, but now he was older, and he was sure he was going to remember her until he himself gave his last breath. 

Baekhyun rapidly took her hands in his own, and caressed them in a sweet manner. He smiled rather sourly, his eyes watering a little as well, overwhelmed not only by the memory of his father but also as regards his mother - even though she was alive and well, he was worried about her future and overall well-being if she was going to stand beside Hans for what’s left of her own life. He was, for sure, distraught. 

He wasn’t sure if he would be able to cope with the feeling of losing her as well, whenever the time came.

“Hey, sweetie, don’t cry” Amelia said while smiling warmly, always so brave and courageous, capable of overcoming every single thing, no matter how difficult it was. And Baekhyun admired her for that, for he considered himself a coward sometimes. 

Maybe someday he will be brave, exactly like her. 

“It’s just that it pains me to see you cry, and I can’t help but sympathise with your feelings”.

Amelia just smiled - Baekhyun was so pure. She felt so fortunate to have that little boy as her son, and she was indeed, for she wouldn’t want it to be any other way. 

While looking at him with pure adoration, however, she noticed his face a little bit different, and his eyes a little bit more darker and intense, mostly the water line of his eyes, giving the impression of having deep eyes. She raised her brow a little, and smiled fondly.

“Are you perhaps wearing my make-up, little boy?”

Amelia laughed a little at his baby boy blushing, pinching his cheeks and mocking him a little. Of course Baekhyun whined, and Amelia just laughed whole-heartedly, don’t really minding at all that he was wearing her own make-up - in fact, she thought of that as something cute, rather than as something that was unforgivable or sinful. 

“Is it that obvious?”

His head was hanging low with shame, his cheeks glowing a crimson red, almost afraid of looking forward. Amelia couldn’t help feeling her insides filled with cuteness, and had the impulse of cupping his beautiful cheeks, squishing these a little, and smiling fondly to his beautiful and sweet baby boy. She understood his worries, but there was really nothing wrong with it.

“You’re beautiful, my baby, even if you don’t wear make-up. You are beautiful nonetheless”.

He was for sure looking very pretty, it wasn’t even hard to notice how beautiful and ethereal his features were, even a blind could see it.

When Baekhyun all the same stood still, feeling ashamed of his own nature and still a little upset because of the former talk, Amelia knew that there was something else lingering in his mind, but she decided not to push the matter further. Although she thought that indeed she knew a little something - the sole thought made her smile a little bit, ruffling her beloved children’s hair.

“It’s okay, baby. Look at me”. Amelia lifted Baekhyun’s chin so kindly that her touch was almost imperceptible to the boy, who looked at her with his eyes a little wide open, full of unspoken worries.

“Everything it’s going to be okay, my baby boy. You look painstakingly beautiful tonight, my sweet child. You’re gorgeous, so there is nothing to be afraid of. And you’re going to be with Chanyeol, right? We all know how much you love him. So cheer up, okay?”

Blushing a little madly once more, Baekhyun nodded his head rapidly, in an attempt for his mother not to notice it.

Amelia knew better, of course, but she was worried nevertheless. 

Ever since Baekhyun was a little kid, she had noticed how thoughtful, how selfless, how sensitive, how sweet and good-natured he was - at least he wasn’t like other boys of his age. And Amelia was somehow thankful for it, but afraid as well. At last, she was forever going to be next to his baby, loving him truly and deeply, even if the world dared to turn their backs on him.

She was still uncertain but she was almost sure that Baekhyun was homosexual. A forbidden word, isn’t it?

But she was not like other women as well. Nor conservative nor the typical housewife; Edmund knew well, of course, and smiled to herself by remembering some of the comments his late husband used to make about her revolutionary ideas. It was probably that what made him fall in love with her in the first place, and she was forever thankful because of that. There was no doubt that he was the perfect man for her. 

And maybe Baekhyun, just like her, wasn’t like other men. It was a silly thought, but perhaps it was that way because his little baby was destined to be just different, just like she was. 

One of those people who were not afraid of transgressing the borders of that which is socially accepted or perceived as right, as normal.

She loved his little boy so much, and she was so sure that someday, Baekhyun will be happy just as he is, and wouldn’t need to hide his own nature from anyone. 

Things will probably change for the better.

And never again will anyone neglect their true self.

Rendered speechless by the sole thought, she just looked at him with pure adoration in her eyes, caressing his cheek once more. 

“Let’s go and get over with this, shall we?”

They both hold their hands.

Feeling stronger than ever, and ready to go against all odds, whatever it takes.

  
  


The wedding was about to start, and Baekhyun rapidly returned to the entrance of the church. The first sight his eyes caught was Chanyeol’s figure, looking so tall and handsome that his heart skipped a bit. Wearing a perfectly tailor-made black suit with his hair perfectly combed backwards with hair gel, Chanyeol was receiving the guests who were invited to the ceremony. Baekhyun didn’t doubt for a second to approach him, joining him in the quest of greeting the newcomers.

As the church pews were filled with more and more people, Baekhyun redirected his attention to his beloved, who was standing as perfect as a cake doll right next to him. Baekhyun couldn’t help but start daydreaming a little of perhaps becoming his own bride someday, although it seemed to be something impossible. Chanyeol, noticing the earnest stare of his beloved as well, looked at him fondly, gifting him a warm smile that somehow, even if it didn’t have that intention, calmed Baekhyun’s nerves a little bit, reassuring him that things were going to be okay. He didn’t notice how nervous he was until that moment, but it was amazing the power Chanyeol had over him, managing to calm the little boy just by giving him a warm smile. 

The elder bent his knees a little, getting a bit closer to Baekhyun’s ear.

“You look painstakingly beautiful today”.

After the sudden and unexpected confession, Baekhyun couldn’t help but blush, covering his mouth a little bit due to embarrassment. Not precisely because of Chanyeol’s words, which were beautiful and sincere, but because of the place in which they were standing, in an institution that condemned acts between men, and surrounded by the same people who would have probably judged them if it wasn’t for the fact that Chanyeol whispered his sweet confession into his ear, soon disappearing into thin air as if nothing had happened there.

Ever since the first kiss, things were awkward between them, but at the same time, it was as if things had started to fall into place. 

It was curious indeed. 

At first, they were keeping some sort of distance between each other, maybe ashamed of facing the truth, being shy towards each other. However the distance didn’t last long between them, as if they couldn’t be apart from each other for a long period of time. 

They needed each other as much as they needed air. 

It was an unassailable truth that they were deeply in love with each other, even though there was no explicit love confession nor an explicit agreement between the two. Notwithstanding, the connection between the two was impossible to deny. 

Although they didn’t kiss again, their love story was slowly but gradually developing. The fact that they were going to be step brothers made them notice that perhaps it was somehow beneficial: nobody would suspect some displays of affections in brotherly love, wouldn’t they? And, apparently, no one in the room suspected anything - if any, everyone cherished the lovely and friendly relationship the two boys had, including Hans.

It was no secret that Berlin, being the important city it was, started to see the advent and then the rise of homosexual’s rights, for many protests and demonstrations were often held, and there were several rumours of supposedly bars or cafés that aimed for a homosexual public. After the Great Depression in 1929 the law that criminalised sexual acts with men was about to be abolished, partly due to these new ideas of sexual freedom and choice.

Still, after all those implausible and futile attempts, the law was still in power, and being homosexual was still a crime. And for that, they needed to be careful. 

“You also look stunning”

Baekhyun replied, in an almost imperceptible way, ashamed a little for his outloud confession, gifting Chanyeol as well a sweet but timid smile, smiling at each other as if the world around them didn’t really exist. 

It was a brief but intense moment, and perhaps if they were alone, they would have kissed each other senseless. 

Nonetheless, the wedding was about to start, and so they both took their respective places for the ceremony to begin. Baekhyun, since he was Amelia’s son, was going to be the one who took her to the altar. Although he was not really pleased to give his mother away to that monster, like she was some sort of sacrifice, there was really nothing he could do.

All he could do was to hope that things would be okay. 

Encountering his mother once more, he smiled warmly to her, and of course she returned the same sweet gesture to the light of her life. Holding her arm with his, they marched together towards the beautifully-decorated altar, where Hans was standing. Right next to him, there was Chanyeol. 

The little boy tried to ignore Hans’s strong gaze and instead focused on Chanyeol’s tender one, who gave both Amelia and Baekhyun a sweet smile, although the intensity of the former somehow intimidated him, to the point of desiring to run away - it was impossible to dismiss or ignore that wicked look on his eyes. Once again, he admired his mother for being this brave, but couldn’t help but feel guilty for it as well. 

Deep inside and even if his mother didn’t admit it, one of the reasons why she said yes was because of him.

Giving a little kiss on Amelia’s cheek, he reluctantly let her go. She took Hans’s hand, as this one was offered to her so as to help her climb the short stairs of the altar. Amelia lent Baekhyun the flower bouquet she held strongly in her hands, perhaps afraid of letting it go, for she needed to take Hans’s hands in hers. Each one of her hands was kissed tenderly by Hans, who smiled in an evil manner, amidst it was not really noticeable. 

Baekhyun couldn’t help feeling a little disgusted, but he had to smile out of courtesy after being witness to that gesture, or he would have been misunderstood by everyone there otherwise. By the guests, those kisses might have been perceived as a demonstration of pure love but not for him, and neither for Chanyeol he was sure - rather than a sign of love, it was more like a sign of ownership. 

At that moment, Baekhyun felt sick of the stomach. 

The ceremony was carried out peacefully. The vows were exchanged, and everyone in the room felt like they were watching a romantic movie, even though, for Baekhyun, the fact that his mother was not really happy was as clear as water. She wasn’t even in love with that awful man in the first place and it wasn’t difficult to notice the deep dejection and sorrow, and even some regret in her eyes. After the kiss that sealed their oath, everyone clapped and celebrated the union of both husband and wife, both walking out of the altar and through the aisle, with the two boys walking right behind them.

Baekhyun felt helpless, almost dead inside. 

But amidst everything, rather than feeling that the marriage was like receiving a glimpse of heaven, it felt more like receiving a glimpse of hell.

  
  


After a few celebrations and some blessings put upon the newly-wed couple, everyone returned home. Of course that today was, officially, the first night Baekhyun was going to spend in his new house, living together with his new family. The house in which he grew up will be put up for rent, but the thought saddened Baekhyun a bit, he didn’t really want other people to live in his adored home. 

On the one hand, he was feeling a little bit happy, for he was going to be able to see Chanyeol more often, and even to share so many more moments together. But on the other hand, he has not yet prepared himself, psychologically speaking, to live under the same roof as that cruel man.

Baekhyun was afraid of Hans - profusely. Not only because he feared to be mistreated by him, but also because he was scared to death to lose his mother by his hands. His fears were not unfounded, of course. 

Anxiety was crippling on his insides, and Chanyeol was able to notice his fears, even if Baekhyun didn’t let him know - Chanyeol knew him well. Even so, he trusted the giant with his life, yet he didn’t want to disturb him nor bring him unwanted memories that could cause further damage to his heart. The little boy preferred to bottle everything up and keep smiling, which was the best he could do.

But no matter how much Baekhyun tried to cover the truth; Chanyeol was worried, too. 

He was determined to avenge his mother, and woe betide anyone who tries to ruin his plans. However, although he was planning on carrying out his revenge, it was feasible that it would take a little bit more time, more than what he actually expected. Sure, he has been thinking about it for quite a long time ago, but he knew that it had to be perfect enough if he wanted to go unpunished for his own sins. 

Even if they were for the better, they were still crimes. 

He really wanted to get rid of Hans and set Amelia free, there was nothing else he desired the most - apart from running away with Baekhyun, of course - but he needed to be careful. He couldn’t forget the tragic way his mother passed away, and wouldn’t like for Baekhyun to live in such dreadful pain. Nonetheless, he didn’t really want to leave Baekhyun alone if he had to spend some years behind bars, since he knew pretty well that his beloved wouldn’t be able to bear that pain - nor deserved it.

Therefore, he needed to forethink everything profusely. 

But either way, he had to find a way of doing so while protecting both Baekhyun and Amelia. It was a difficult task to fulfill, but he was capable of doing all that he could in order to not break his promise. 

Of avenging his mother.

Of setting Amelia free.

Of protecting Baekhyun from his father.

  
  
  


At home, everybody decided to part ways to their own bedrooms; of course Amelia and Hans from now on will share the same bedroom he shared before with Chanyeol’s mother, a bed that probably contained a whole lot of appalling and bitter memories. Chanyeol didn't feel comfortable with it, for it was also the bed in which he gave his last farewell to his beloved mother, but there was nothing he could do about it but to bear with it. There was simply no other way to prevent it.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol had both separate bedrooms, however, both doors were facing each other. However, it was Baekhyun's bedroom that was closer to Hans and Amelia's one, and it was impossible for him not to hear some muffled sounds, both adults consummating their marriage, as it should be on their wedding night.

Although it was an obvious and unavoidable act, it wasn't less painful for the boy. Probably his mother has dubiously consented being touched by that man; she didn't really have any other choice but to abide by her own duty and pleasure him with whatever Hans asked her to do. She would no longer have a voice for herself. Baekhyun just wanted to disappear, sobbing uncontrollably but in silence, holding his knees with his arms, and resting his head on them. 

Desiring to escape for a little bit, at least until those lustful sounds ceased for the long night, he went out of his room and rushed to Chanyeol's one, knocking the door softly.

After opening the door, Chanyeol wasn't really expecting to find an emotionally wrecked Baekhyun, with messy hair and eyes full of sadness and grief, which weren't less beautiful even if they were covered with a thin layer of tears. He didn't even know what he was expecting, but certainly to see the figure of his beloved standing right in front of his eyes surpassed any of his expectations. It was rather foreign as well.

“Can I spend the night here?”

Baekhyun’s question was pronounced in a low, almost shy voice, as if afraid of speaking any louder, afraid of being heard; perhaps because it was a little bit unusual, not to say strange to spend the night together, even if it was in the most innocent way ever. 

Chanyeol was flabbergasted, to say at last - he wasn’t really expecting that, and somehow his heart started to beat in a frenetic beat after being completely taken by surprise, even gulping a little for the sudden disclosure of the former’s thoughts. 

He could sense that the younger wasn’t feeling well; there was something gloom hidden behind his beautiful but usually and otherwise cheerful and gleeful visage, and it pained the elder enormously. Mostly because he was unable to prevent all of the things that happened during the last hours, nor could he turn back the time. 

And what was worse, is that he really wasn’t able to do something to make his beloved feel better. Just hold him tightly, perhaps.

“Of course, come in”. 

Baekhyun rushed inside the room as soon as Chanyeol allowed him to, and he closed the door behind him with care. The little boy, who was still beautiful even if his pretty face was veiled under that somber countenance, looked at him rather anxiously. Chanyeol was a little confused, of course, and was waiting for some explanations.

“From my bedroom, I could hear noises from Hans and Amelia’s bedroom and I… I couldn’t put up with it”.

Chanyeol loved a lot of things from Baekhyun, but he certainly admired and adored his honesty. He cherished it, for it was something crucial for him if a relationship between both of them was to bloom someday in the future.

“I’m sorry for bothering you, but I really don’t know where to go and, you know that you’re the place where I feel secure the most”.

Baekhyun involuntarily caressed his left arm a little, with the excuse of feeling a little cold because of his apparent lack of comfy and warm clothes but actually due to shame, lowering his head and fixing his eyes on the floor at the same time . He felt fragile and weak, but there was actually no other place he would rather be at. 

Being held between Chanyeol’s arms was the only place he felt safe.

Chanyeol was already smiling fondly, since he couldn’t really get mad at the boy for wanting his help - on the contrary, he felt honoured for being the first one coming to his mind in times of need. Baekhyun however smiled after the silly confession, though obvious nonetheless - he always felt secure whenever he was next to Chanyeol.

Chanyeol didn’t waste any time - he quickly approached Baekhyun, embracing him in his arms, lifting his chin with his right hand, looking directly into his beautiful tender eyes. Both of his hearts were beating at the same rapid pace, and their eyes filled with such a passionate love that can even move mountains - and the only witness of that fervent love was the cold light of the moon, illuminating the room they were standing on.

Cupping his cheeks and lowering his head, Chanyeol placed a sweet kiss on Baekhyun’s forehead, causing the younger to shed some tears - he felt moved by Chanyeol’s actions, and at the same time, he felt sheer hopelessness invading his insides.

Will things between them always be like that? Hidden from the world as if they were criminals?

Suddenly he was afraid of everything - of losing Chanyeol, of being apart from him, of being deprived of being next to him for the long path ahead. He was afraid of the things that were to come - they were now step brothers in the eyes of the law, and the pure, reciprocal love they shared was deemed impossible once more. 

The boy couldn’t help but hold Chanyeol in his arms, hugging and holding onto him as if his world depended on the elder.

“Please…”

His voice was muffled due to the shedding tears that adorned his nonetheless beautiful face - even while crying, Baekhyun was still the most precious human being in the world.

“Please, just make it go away.”

Chanyeol wasn’t sure what exactly Baekhyun wanted to be taken away from him, but he was able to imagine the pain, the misery and despair crushing his body, even if he was a little bit more composed - he knew, because he felt exactly the same way. 

The elder lifted Baekhyun up and held him strongly in his arms, and took him to his own bed, where he laid him to rest, joining the little boy only a few seconds later. And Chanyeol, in an attempt to protect Baekhyun, embosomed him once again in his arms - hopefully forever.

But if not, Baekhyun found solace in the sole thought that, even if it was during that whole night, it was more than enough for him.

The rest of the sleepless evening went by peacefully, with tender kisses and caresses, and both of them hoped, prayed that the world stopped right there, as they were unsure whether or not they were going to be able to keep loving each other for the rest of their lives. 

Even if they were young and naïve, they knew their love was long-lasting, and that it would last forever, no matter what comes in the future ahead of them.

They wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. Because they were soulmates, even if their everlasting love wasn't going to be like a bed of roses.

But little did they know.

It was just the calm before the storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, here it is - the awaited update!
> 
> I wanted to apologise for the delay, I would've loved to give all of you this update before but I really couldn't. I do hope that next chapter comes out more quickly!
> 
> That being said, I hope you've enjoyed the new chapter, even though it is a mess. See you next time (and prepare some tissues)!


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